Adultingisnotfun.site

Hey guys much love and appreciation for stopping by, I love seeing the numbers go up in views, can't thank you enough for it. 

I do have a person from the past whose willing to right his wrongs. We've stayed up various nights just talking, laughing, wondering the 'what if', just cracks me up in the sense that he's someone who remembers me before it went downhill. I laugh endlessly thinking back about the person I used to be and who I am now, it's true when they say, "you'll be laughing about this 10 years," cause sure as hell I am. 

I know I haven't really been on here lately, October was busy with fall events all around Chicago. I had a couple of events that I bought tickets to, that I unfortunately didn't have child care for, but I did see Jesse McCartney which was AMAZING. I had a downfall, I got my lives crossed and I left a situationship, it wasn't fulfilling its full potential with our schedules not aligning anymore. I didn't think that I wanted to start anything soon, until last week. I can't say anything cause I don't want to get my hopes, and if certain people who know my history are smart enough they'll be able to put two-and-two together. Now that we are almost done with November, I could say that it was alright. Did some volunteering at my son's school. Last month they had a Affy Tapple fundraiser and between both houses we were able to collect over 250 apples which was amazing, we showed up to the school and they had 12 boxes for us. 

Man guys like I don't know. My son's dad family is so narcissistic and has the nerve to call me the bad guy. My son's grandparents know their own son's temper, so why am I to blame. I protect my son, I love my son, I am doing the complete opposite of what they did to their own sons. My son's dad and his two younger brothers, not a single one is thriving: my bd 32 possible glaucoma, steady job working 8 outta the 12 months, owes me 12 thousand dollars (yeah you read that right, I made 2k a month while he makes at least 5k a month); the middle one got fired from a job that he's been doing for like 10 years, started a candle business that's going I guess; the youngest is a hot mess he's also in debt because he got a year car, working 2 or 3 jobs to make its monthly payments, got kicked outta the army because he got hurt, has a 5 year relationship with this one girl but was living with another girl 3 years ago. 

There's so much that I want to do lets see how much I can complete it. I started the year with a new passion (the new perspective in my life that opened up the world to me), I'm currently working for CPS which is great cause I get to be at my son's school. I want to look into bartending school so I can get the certification, it helps when you apply to job that you took a class. I also want to learn how to drive, Ima spend half of my year saving then next year, I'll find a guy that has 9 lives whose willing to get behind the wheel with me. I don't know but maybe I'd like to get ordained that came as a shocker to me, I mean how many times have you heard on tv, "Is anybody ordained," and someone out of the blue says, "Me, I just did it online 30 min ago," or when they're in the ceremony, "By the power vested in me and the state of XYZ I now pronounce you man and wife". I might get a tattoo or another piercing we'll see.

I have thought about my perfect wedding day so many times, I've always believed in marriage, two people together for the rest of their lives, always running home to be with that one person. Fight like soldiers, love like lovers, talk like best friends, I would kill for that. Unfortunately between the years 2021 and 2025 I didn't think it was going to happen for me, I was stuck in the same situation for years, nothing had changed, yet he had the nerve to tell me this summer to give him one more year. I heard somewhere would you rather give a guy 20 chances or  one chance to 20 guys. 

Remember when I said earlier that you may think you know yourself and even the concept of relationships, here you'll explore the concept of love language and why it is very important because its the foundation to a mature relationship. I never really had a mature relationship, even a  significant one. There are people that I know who've had significant love ones and/or moved in with them. I was and still am clueless about relationships, so I took it upon myself to become educated in that topic. I started to read books about relationships, the different love languages, I mean you got to start somewhere, for me it was the introduction of a different perspective. He's the reason for this heck of a summer I'm having, he's opened my eyes about things I didn't know about, things people don't talk about cause its not comfort conversations. Our conversations are so in depth, I'm even astounded at how I phrase my words. My favorite thing to do is have debates, question our thinking, our ideas, makes our thinking wheels turn. He's always pushing himself to be a better person than the day before, something that resonated with me is that his experiences shaped him to be the man that he is today. Knowing your love language is important because it drives your view on love. A way to think of this is us being a metaphor for a car, a car has a tank and you fuel it with gasoline, we have a love tank and if we don't know how to fuel it, we feel like we've never been loved the way we want to. And there are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and receiving gifts.

Who knew that the intellectual that said the pen is mightier than the sword, could possible be right. Somewhere in here I talk about knowing you're love language, cannot stress how important that is. Since educating myself in the art that is relationships, there are a couple of books that I highly recommend. I mean I liked them, I found them informative and relatable. If you thought you knew the slightest thing there is to know about relationships or even yourself, I hate to say this but you are completely wrong. These books will have you thinking about everything, even things that wouldn't come up at first thought. The first book is my ultimate favorite, it has short but insightful alphabetical stories and it may not be comfort literacy so the illustration deter the awkwardness that you might feel while reading the context. The second one is deep into love and advice, it's good for trying to mature in the relationship, and also finding out what is a mature relationship. Gary Chapman is a favorite, I'm currently reading the 5 love languages for children because of my 4 year old. I feel like its a good way to try to think at their level, people like to think of them as mini people but I don't believe that. Look at your own hands and think about how you are handling life with all the years of experience that you have, now look at your kid's, how do you expect them to have the same reaction when they can't even open their juice box or zip-up their jackets.